She Runs Away

Eric Clapton to Pattie Boyd (his Layla):
(from Boyd, Pattie and Junor, Penny (2007). Wonderful Tonight)

“The thing about pessimism is that in most cases it’s nothing more than a front behind which a body can hide its most sweet yet painful hopes. Please forgive me.”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Just get better,” my drink softens the blow
Why it ends like this, I’ll never know
Your heart is breaking, it’s all around
My heart shatters, a familiar sound
The look in your eye, your voice and the tone
I’ll always prefer to cry all alone
All of the screaming, you can do better
If she has to go, you have to just let her
All of the patience, but there’s none at all
Remember hang up, when she tries to call
Again and again, she’s on the line
But you cannot help her, it’s what she has to find
You cannot fix this, I push it away
I’ll always love you, from December till May

-Jay 9/26/08

A Real Hello to You

So like I was saying, I started my own blog. (I had just written a paragraph and it disappeared...very frustrating.) What I was saying was that this blog is for me and if you’re interested in reading it that’s awesome. I just have crazy thoughts and I want to get them down. I have always written, ever since I could! And before that my grandmother would write the words for me. Even though I didn’t realize it as a child writing was my outlet and an empty page was always ready and waiting to listen to all I had to say (when grownups just thought I talked too much).

Now I am a ‘grown up’ (per say) and a new obstacle has come. Sometimes I have a point and sometimes I forget where I was going with this. But that usually happens when I talk. It’s this new weird thing with me. I can’t organize my thoughts when I speak anymore. I ramble like a fool and I often lose my point. So I have to write in order to arrange my thoughts and really consider the way I want things expressed. This blog is going to help this madness.

Now with that said, just because I write a lot does not mean:

a. I’m always interesting. I mean I’m always interesting to myself but who isn’t interested in their self?

b. My grammar can get nuts so just bear with me.

c. I spell things how I want to. I try to look things up and get as perfect as possible but sometimes they slip through. Sue me.

d. Sentence fragments I don’t consider revising. If I like it, it stays.

I like to talk/ write about everything but things that appeal to me most are music, any funny event that has happened or is happening in my life, sometimes very sad things, I like fashion but uh yeah I could use a tip or two. I like poetry and when I write poems most of the time they rhyme. I like it that way. I am very into making lists of things and I have a group of close friends that I write the Top 5 with.

I like to talk about current events and my view on things. I don’t get too serious about things I don’t know too much about, I keep it simple. I’m obsessed with pop culture even though I’m embarrassed to say so; I like to think I’m way cooler than that but apparently I’m not! I have a guilty pleasure with loving celebrities and wanting to win the lottery- I’m sure at some point I’ll let anyone (who’s reading) in on my plans for when I win. I’m a dreamer and I have a crazy motivation to make things happen. Fun things mostly.

Older things that I have written will end up on here too. I feel like the blog is a sort of ‘moving forward’ concept for me in many ways but all things considered, if I liked it a lot and it’s old I will post it anyway.

I’m always trying to be healthy or at least I like to talk about trying to be healthy. And I’m pretty sure I will keep an updated blog here about me (very out of shape) deciding to do the MS 150- which is a bike ride from Houston to Austin, TX over a weekend. (Did I mention I’m in love with fried chicken?) This will be interesting if not just for me to see myself from beginning to end of that journey. I haven’t completely committed myself to doing it yet but if I do- Day 1 until I get to Austin on a bicycle will be documented here. Among other things!

I waited so long to start a real blog (I have one on myspace although it isn’t consistent) because in natural Scorpio fashion I am a very private person. I don’t like the world knowing my biznass but in some odd way, I still want to do this.

God bless you friends of mine who I’m sure will end up in this blog. I write about what happens around me and friends, you are ridiculous so, this is for you too.

Million Dollar Baby?

Yesterday I was at the gym (yes it's true I'm not lying) and I saw this girl there working out with her trainer. She looked amazing and all Million Dollar Baby! She was boxing with a few kicks to the head thrown in here and there. She looked like she could kick my ass....or anybodies for sure. I was like man I wanna be all Rocky like, hopping around boxing the air and beating the crap out of my trainer too! (Although Derith is a lot smaller than this man working out with Muhammad Ali's daughter's look a like)

And then I was thinking, do I really want to fight or do I just want to look awesome in that outfit she has on with the boxing gloves?

I don't know. I think I could be into beating some bitches down.

This little cartoon from nataliedee.com is me......