Oh the dilemma.....do I eat something healthy and wait until 8 to meet up with some girlfriends for wine -or- do I order some fat take out and catch up on my Tivo wonderful?
What a lovely dilemma right? I can hear the beckon call of my pj's....they want me and they want me bad.
That's the thing about being single (I try to remind myself how awesome it is) you can look crazy and be fat on your couch and not worry about what -insert awkward date guy here- is thinking. You see, I don't do dates. I'm clumsy, I'm awkward, and then I'm drunk because I'm clumsy and awkward. Bad mix. I don't know why. Even if it's someone I've known for a while...don't you dare call this a date because I swear to you I will spill something!
Or one (perhaps all) of the following will play out: fall, sweat profusely, ramble about things that don't matter/ don't make sense, and then apologize for rambling while continuing into a new nervous, verge of panic attack ramble. Ridiculous I tell you.
So chill wine nights with the girls or VH1 and something fried is like my personal Heaven.
How will I ever meet someone worth it or give something the chance to become that if I am so freaked out about dating? I don't know.
I do know that I have burned a few bridges with some really great guys over the past year from being indecisive. I've had it and then something inside of me couldn't commit...and now here I am. Me and VH1. I lived in the gray area for a long time with guys who wanted to be real with me. At the time I was comfortable with that. Looking back I wonder if I've made a mistake. (What me? A mistake? Nooooo) But really I feel like I kind of have an advantage and I know that I am where I am for a reason. I'm alone and no I'm not thriving about it but I can handle it. It's ok- not ideal.
A good friend told me the other day I should just get out more, like you have to get out to enjoy all the other single people. Maybe. I used to be that. I used to be so proud of my freedom and not being tied down, a boyfriend? bwahahha! In the words of JayZ, "Not for nothin' never happen, I be forever mackin!" Maybe I need to renew my singleness vows, maybe I should turn up the volume and make a new 'mixtape' with Big Pimpin on repeat.
I think it boils down to January is a suck month. Nothing happens in January. All the holidayness is over. It's still cold and bleh outside. Boo January. I don't know....
(What would the single girl mix tape consist of? Interesting.....)
I'll think about that later. Right now I think I've solved my dilemma- I'll have wine with the girls AND watch Tivo! Cheers!
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Haha, what a good solution to the problem! :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment you left over on my blog! You are too adorable - and I'm glad to find another person who can understand my Hanson fixation. Er, my past Hanson fixation, because it's not like I had a dream last week where I totally made out with Taylor...
ReplyDelete:)
Aaaaanyway, I love how you wrote this in your post: "So chill wine nights with the girls or VH1 and something fried is like my personal Heaven." Amen. I totally get this.
And really? As far as the guy thing goes, I'm a true believer in things happening when they're supposed to. Sounds cheesy, but I think it's true. When the right guy comes along, he's going to come along - and I don't think it's always necessary to go out on a bunch of dates during which you will feel awkward or forced. You know what I mean?
Enjoy that Vh1 - I know I am. Best programming ever. :)
I would chose a good VH1 night over a date anytime. Dates are totally overrated and there is some really good cable these days.
ReplyDeleteARGH. Post your mix tape ideas if you come up with any. Apparently I need some too :)